7 Social codes that shouldn’t be broken

Sometimes you make terrible blunders when dealing with people and quickly regret your actions.

The subject of ‘people’ in a social setting is an ever-growing and complex structure. You need certain guidelines to give you an idea of the direction to take at certain crossroads.

Social codes are rules you should follow when engaging with others, especially when there is more than one other person involved in the interaction.

These are relatively easy to follow once you understand why.

Let’s dive right in:

1. Avoid gossiping

Gossip is the number 1 killer of reputation. If people know you gossip, nobody will confide in you and everybody will see you as unreliable.

The problem is not just that they will avoid talking sensitive things with you, but your apparent unreliability will trickle down and affect your perceived competence in every other aspect of life.

A person that likes to gossip has a weak character and enjoys talking about the lapses of others rather than focusing on themselves and their personal development. The best way to make sure nobody knows you gossip is simply to not gossip.

If you talk with me about someone when they are not around I know you will talk with them about me when I’m not around. If you must say something about another person in their absence, let it be positive and let it be brief. Don’t have a whole conversation about it please.

2. Don’t reveal people’s secrets

Don’t reveal something that was said to you in confidence. That is akin to betrayal. The walls have ears. Many people do this because they have nothing else to talk about.

They have nothing worth listening to so they bring people’s sensitive information to spice up conversations hoping their listener(s) will find them interesting for it. Avoid this at all costs. You can’t be smart about it, it will circle back and return to you.

Don’t think telling someone ‘this is a secret’ will make them less likely to share it with another person. The farther out the ‘juicy’ piece of information goes, the less attached the people who hear it are to the subject and the more likely they are to share it.

3. Don’t reveal personal info

If someone tells you something personal about themselves, perhaps the city they live in or the kind of work they do and it so happens that they haven’t shared this piece of information with certain people in your friends’ group.

It is not your job. This seems pretty simple yet so many have messed up here. It is not that sharing this information is particularly harmful but as a matter of principle, you should respect them enough to at least not be a blabber mouth about what they said to you.

4. Don’t jump the line of mutual friends

If your friend introduces you to their friend, you shouldn’t be seen with that friend after one week of hanging out without the first guy around. This is quite simple, yet many don’t seem to understand how it works.

You can get close and all, but given you did not meet them on your own, you should at least have the courtesy to make sure your friend who introduced you too is in the mix. As time goes by, perhaps you three would have gotten so close that this is okay.

There’s nothing wrong with befriending people, and you will meet a lot of people in many different ways and settings. However, nobody will appreciate you jumping the line in this sort of situation. Be graceful and respect yourself.

5. Don’t criticize friends publicly

You must never criticize your friends in public. Even if he does some dumb sh#t, stand by him and talk to him in private. Don’t antagonize him in front of the world. If he’s a stranger, then you may criticize him all you want.

You cannot go head to head with each other while others watch. This is a basic rule in loyalty and gracefulness. This also shows that you value them more than you value being right. When the curtains close, throw punches and settle.

6. Don’t get involved in someone else’s lie

Don’t let people drag you into their lies. If a person tells a lie and involves you in it, back out as quickly as you can. You can lie for your brother to cover their mess, but don’t let them do the lying and get you in it.

Why? Because you should take responsibility for your lies, but not for the lies another person tells. If the person telling the lie decides to come clean later, you’ll just end up being the clown.

Also, do not involve other people in your lie. If you keep letting people lie and get you involved, you will end up sacrificing your reputation for another person’s sins.

7. Don’t befriend your friend’s romantic interest

Do not befriend your friend’s girlfriend/boyfriend. If they are involved, stay away from the other person. You have no business with them whatsoever.

It is disrespect and disloyalty of the highest order for you to be conversing with them. It does not matter what the subject of the conversation is, except if your friend is dying and she’s the only one who knows his whereabouts, you have no business dialing her number.

You shouldn’t even have their number in the first place.Only men of the lowest caliber, the absolute scum of society, do such things. Respect yourself and conduct your affairs with grace.